Complaint Central

Ladies and Gentleman. This is a public service anouncement. The machine is about to launch a campaign against every single breathing human in USA. They will start to infuse a nickfitdogeatdogmultibisubstaproduct into our systems. The product, newtrasweet. Yes newtrasweet. With this chemical ingested into your bodies, the machine will have power over your ever move, every action, every thought. Soon you will believe big government is here to help you, that you are not responsible for your actions and should be in closer tough with your inner feelings. Soon you will be more concerned that your neighbor cannot afford a new car but you can. And what will you do? Probably buy the car but put a little extra in the collect on the Sabbath....at least for a couple of weeks. Some of you will actually not buy thaqt new car because you don't want the guy next to you to feel inferior. Maybe you'll just move so you don't hurt their feelings. Awwww, how f-ing nice. Soon the machine will have you believing the 9-11 commission is wrong, and the attack is all the President's fault. Ah yes but wait, there's more! After a short adjustment period you will get used to the increase in sales, and income tax. Some of you might even start sending in the remainder of your income to your local and state governments just because you feel guilty having something someone else cannot.
NOw the machine has complete control and the fun begins. Since the great country has now been reduced to a group of weak hearted unwilling to fight for themselves sniveling miserable excuses for himan beings, the terrorists can move in. Yes, have you forgotten about the terrorists? No of course not...you are an honorable American! Well there reader listen up....and I'll make this quick....because I know you're busy...I've checked your schedule! The terrorists are going to attack again. It's going to happen soon and it's going to happen big big big.